My emotional escapades the last week!!!! Have been dealing alot with physical pain and emotional issues this past week. I have been having trouble sleeping and while I lay in bed I have been talking and yelling at God as I need Him to give me peace about things in my life. To start-Last Friday, I started having pain as bad as when I first got injured. I was hoping the pain pills would ease it, but no help, so I'd sit and more or less mope about it and pray for the pain to disappear.(It didn't) Come Sunday, after a restless night, I woke at 7:30 AM literally screaming, "No, No, Oh God, please,No!!! Why? My whole body started "locking up" again. This is what happened at the beginning when I injured myself. I cannot explain the pain as it affects your whole body. If you ever had a major muscle spasm, it's like that, only it's your whole body. Took me 10 minutes to get out of bed. I came out here to the livingroom sobbing and Mike asked me what was wrong, I told him I couldn't tell him.I didn't want him to worry about me.(DUH!!! Like not telling him isn't gonna worry him) He has done a hell of alot for me the last 3 years since I got hurt. He has to carry laundry for me, chauffer me as I can't drive too much longer than 20 minutes without stopping, etc. He has back probs of his own, but he does what he can for me, plus work a full time job. I appreciate him for that., anyway, I would have this body spasm off and on all day Sunday.
Monday, I did okay, I warned the hairdresser that if I looked like I was in pain to just let me get up and walk it off, but I did okay. I was pretty tired though, by the time she got done. (Thanks Shelly, Love my hair). Tuesday, I am feeling pretty good, just really sore. I was watching TV and on one show, the wife is finally grieving her father and she breaks down and admits how much she missed him. I sobbed a little as I thought about my dad. That night, I lost it. I couldn't sleep, so I started singing Hymns to myself and ended up singing "In the Garden" which my Dad wanted sung at his funeral(and it was). I broke down and I went totally hysterical crying for him. Even though he has been gone almost 14 years, it is still hard. He never got to know his great-grandchildren and I wish he'd have been able to meet my grandsons as I know he'd have loved them as much as his own children. I then came out around 3AM to watch TV and try to go to sleep, but didn't work. I went back to bed and ended up just praying to God to give me peace about my dad, my physical issues and other issues. I feel a lot better that I was able to give it to God to handle, as I cannot anymore. Then, after all this, Wednesday, Chris(My very best friend, whom I love with all my heart) calls me and wants to know if I want to go with her for a ride. I said yes and as soon as I opened the car door, I lost it. All I could ask her was, "How did you know I needed you?" and told her what was happening. We have always been like this. We have a sixth sense for each other and know when the other needs them. Our former boss called it a "sick" sense. It was just very refreshing to be with her. I trust her with my life. She is the sweetest person. Anyway, Just needed to blog a bit and catch up. Tody has been okay, I am doing some cleaning and vacuumed, and I am now in pain as the vacuuming kills me. Don't know why, only a 12x12 carpet. Oh well....What ya gonna do???
Tomorrow, I hope we are going down to see Heidi, Brent and the boys. We haven't seen them for a few weeks and I just know those boys are gonna have deep voices and mustaches as it's been so long. I go through withdrawal, if I don't see them just about every week. Till next time.......
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